In the inaugural edition of House of Trauma, a veteran connoisseuse of all things badfan graces us with her presence. Shed Farce, just returned from a harrowing journey through cyberspace, brings us some select morsels of absolute shite.

At vvg.com, we find the badfic so you don't have to.

Volume One: Of Crystalline Tears and Incest

Selection 1: "Angel's Breathe"
What if Orlando was sad? No, I mean really sad. What if he was so sad the PAIN and ANGUISH just CONSUMED him until there was NO POINT in going on? Well, I'm not sure, exactly. But it wouldn't be this fic. No amount of pain can justify this:

"Crystalline tears hung suspended on his rosy cheeks, flushed with the heat from the fireplace and the burning of his own grief. He had never been in this place without Viggo. He had never come to this cold, secluded place without his paramour, without his lover, without his poet, his painter, his beautiful fiery Viggo."

Selection 2: "Forever Young"

Um... I read the Elijah cutting fic. I read the Orlando-getting-off-on-fic-about-him fic. I read the Legolas/Alexei Yagudin fic. Hell, I read the macaroni fic! This is like the bastard child of all four. Only much, much worse. I'm really at a loss as to how else I might describe it. I think the story info says it best:

"Disclaimer: I actually don't know the boys and very little about the myth/truth of Atlantis aside from what I saw in the Disney movie, and even then I taking a lot of liberties. But hey this is fiction, I'm sure you'll forgive me. On a side note, Craig and David are not related at all, this was manipulated for the story. Warnings/Content: LOTR RPS, m/m sex, some incest, the boys in robes, fluff/sap, lots of angst, the horror of mankind, the destruction of the Atlantis Empire."

[Editor's note: if the bit about Orlando/Alexei Yagudin piqued your interest, don't let us hold you back. You can find the magic that is a Mary Sue menage-a-trois here. This story is particularly special to me, since every since I was a little girl I've dreamed of growing up to be a "journalism correspondent." Well, that and bedding a famous actor and a figure skater at the same time.]

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