I'm a big Elijah Wood fan, but I thought this site was hilarious. Looking at the pictures had me laughing so hard that I was crying. I don't actually believe he's really gay of course and I think the people bashing this site need to lighten up a little. It's a parody. It's obviously making fun of how people like to spread false rumors and jump to stupid conclusions. And besides, if you haters out there want to be all politically correct and everything then why is it so wrong that he's being called gay? If someone made a site about how heterosexual he was would you bash that too? Probably not. "It's called a sense of humor, you should get one, they're nice." Anyway, great site! Elijah Wood with baked goods = gay. LOL.

In a rare presentation of tact, grammar, and proper spelling, Christine has summed things up pretty nicely.
And Christine, you're right -- senses of humour are nice. I got mine at Zellers, it was on sale. A+

Time: 11:40 PM
From: Pissed Off Elijah Fan

hey u stupid ppl ure just jealous cuz Elijah would never consider going out wit freaks like u (male or Female) Elijah is the sexiest thing since....ME! Ne wazy all u ppl should go 2 hell ok cuz just cuz ure ugly and gay duznt mean elijah is! Oh and another thing...what duz cupcakes have 2 do with ne thing..mmmmm cupcakes....ne wayz cupcakes actually is the name of a FEMALE stripper..ok if he likes cupcakes he likes FEMALES which means he isnt gay u dumb fux!!!!! Ne who ure just jealous cuz HE is straight...UNLIKE u!!! Fags is ure middle name and gayness is ure game u got the same sex on the mind and woo they lookin UGLY!!!!!!! HEHE!!!! Bye stupids!!!!!

Ow. My head hurts now. Just when you get past the numbers replacing letters and extremely, um, creative phonetic spelling, you have to deal with excessive punctuation. Interestingly, there is a somewhat compelling bit of logic in there -- Cupcake is a stripper name! If Elijah likes cupcakes, he also like strippers, and is therefore straight! This Elijah Fan obviously spent quite a bit of time working that one off, so I do want to give her credit for it.
However, her introduction of physical attractiveness into the discussion is quite curious. I do like the "Bye stupids!!!!!" part at the end, though. B+

Time: 9:52 PM
From: kiss my ass

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! Is it that you LACK the proper brain cells nescerray to display sypathy towards others' rights and feelings?!?! You really need to find something constructive to do with your time, because if you don't, you'll turn into more of a dumbfuck than you already are! You don't have any feelings towards others, you self-absorbed,ass-kissing, pretentious cunt, and i hope you fucking burn in hell for posting such a lame,abusive, and-overall-stupid site! I happen to Love Elijah Wood, and I admire all the work he has done. I haven't followed his career just to read some pre-teen,lame-ass site about his sex life!And besides, even if is gay, what's wrong with that? Do you just want to go and bash 10% of the worlds population because you thing what they are doing is GROSS??? Go get a life, because you seriously need one. And i hope your minging site gets shut down, you fucking bull-dike. Im not gonna waste any more of my time on you

While I don't think that the words "lame, abusive and overall-stupid" apply only to me, I'm going to go with this one. I enjoy this letter, because the author has thoughtfully capitalized the words she wants emphasized, and has, like the previous poster, used creative punctuation to further emphasize her point. And while I don't recall ever stating that homosexuality is gross, "bull-dike" is quite an innovative insult, though I'm not entirely sure what Dutch land reclamation has to do with anything. However, Ms. kiss my ass, I'd like to thank you for bringing my lack of "sypathy towards others' rights and feelings" to my attention. C+

From: "Tiffany" < tricksysapphire@yahoo.com >  
To : < veryverygay@hotmail.com >  
Subject :HAHA... you made a homosexual website! Ur GAY!  

Duh, Elijah Wood is not gay! All of the stuff you call "Evidence" is bullshit! So, your saying because Elijah was seen hugging Orlando Bloom on the RED CARPET in front of hundreds of people, he's gay? Well wouldn't that make Orlando gay then? Ohh and then Dominic is gay... ohh and didn't you know, Ian McKellen (Gandalf) is also gay.... you know, I think the whole fellowship is gay!!! And even if he Elijah was gay (which he's not), why make a website about it? Let him be gay on his own. He's still an awesome and sexy actor... that will never change (more than you I'm sure)!  Anyhow, he's not gay and you are very, very gay for making a homosexual website!

Well, there certainly are some folks out there who think the whole fellowship is gay, that's for sure. I'm a little confused regarding this sentence, however: "He's still an awesome and sexy actor... that will never change (more than you I'm sure)!" Is she saying that I'm awesome and sexy now, and that the ravages of time will soon change that, unlike Elijah, who will never change? Good to know. I really should call up Elijah for some skin-care tips while the getting is good.
And what's that you say, Tiffany? My "evidence" is "bullshit"? Heh. Never would've figured that out on my own. C

From: "nadi" < fa310716@skynet.be >  
To: < veryverygay@hotmail.com >

you know what, i just fell on your crap this mornin' and you should be really dumb to tell this bull of shit on Lij, and all the rest of the cast!
you're really pathetic and i blame you!
nadi

God, I hate falling on crap, too. Sorry 'bout that. What I have to wonder, though, is what exactly am I being blamed for? The crap? The bull of shit? The gayness of Elijah? Global warming? Somethings remain a mystery, I suppose. B

From: < dark__mistress__2000@hotmail.com >  
To:  < veryverygay@hotmail.com >  
Subject:  ooookay...   

umm hey! so what if they hug... big whoop! AND JUST CUZ HE'S SHORT DOES NOT MEAN HE'S GAY ... so i guess that means all midgets are gay, and all short people are?
ok ive made my point...

Yes. All midgets are gay. Next. D+

From: Johanna Concord < coolwhip8298@yahoo.com >  
To : < veryverygay@hotmail.com >  
Subject: WTF?  
OK let's say for a minute that Elijah wood was gay........ you made a web-site about it for what? well i have a few reasons of my own.
1. you're insecure because you're gay.
2. you want other people to know that because you're  gay, being gay is OK. but they wont belive that, so you have to make up that a celeb. is gay, for it to look good
3. you really want to get with Elijah wood, but you're afraid he might not be gay, so you want other people to reply to you, saying what they think.

conclusion: YOU'RE GAY.
GET A LIFE, DON'T YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO OTHER THEN MAKE UP THINGS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW??

You know, I love how all the flamers seem to think that calling me gay is the highest insult. Dear Johanna, however, has hit on the truth -- this site is part of a global conspiracy to make homosexuality "look good." Yep, soon gay people will be getting married and adopting children. And EWIVVG will have been responsible for it (I guess that's what nadi was blaming me for...)
You got me, Johanna. I'm exposed. A-

Well, kids, that's it for this time. Stay tuned, though, for more letters. And, dear flamers and fans, keep sending 'em in. Next time may be the time you get your letter posted on Very Very Gay Letters!

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